Seduce Me
by Govnuh
Summary: I was in the mood to write a one-shot, and a friend gave me a topic. Another friend said I should try to make it funny so I tried. Spy gives Scout some more advice on romance. M because you know why. Best enjoyed while watching "Expiration Date" by Valve. Watch up until the black screen after the training montage, then unpause once you're finished reading.


"So uhhh... why are we back here again?" Scout asked the suave motherfucker sitting in his usual chair. The Red Spy, as was his title, loosely held his half-empty wine glass and turned to the younger male. He chuckled quietly, "Why don't you close zat door behind you? Zis will be your final lesson before your evaluation." He slowly finished the rest of his drink, licking his lips suggestively afterwards.

Scout did as he was told.  
"Why don't you... lock it, too," the sexy Frenchman continued. And so Scout did.

"So what's the lesson then, fancypants? I'm dyin' over here!" Scout whined.

Spy calmly responded, "Zis will be a lesson unlike ze ozers." He chuckled to himself again.

"Well what is it?!" Scout demanded. "You almost kill Demo, you make fun of my dancing, and hit me in the head with that rod of yours more times than probably you can count. Out wid it!"

Spy motions Scout over. When he got close enough, Spy legsweeped the shit out of Scout's feet, and so he fell to the floor with a huge "thud."

He shook his head to regain sense. "What the hell was that for?!"

Spy leaned in closely and stared into Scout's eyes with the bedroomiest eyes he had, which no man nor woman could possibly resist. "Romance me."

"...Eh? What the-" Scout began, but quickly realized he had heard what he said and did not want it repeated with another head smack. "The hell's that mean?" he asked, expecting a fully understandable answer.

"Should ze two of you hit it off and become closer, which I highly doubt," Spy began, "You will also need to learn some basics... of love-making."

Scout immediately saw where this was going and jumped back, still down on the floor. "Augh! What! Hell no, you think I'm a homo? Get the hell outta here I thought you were really teaching me junk!" He started to get up but his shoulders were firmly held down by Spy's slender yet manly hands.

"I have but one thing to say before you geev up and ruin your last moments alive. Would you not like to see your precious flower's face light up, her soft if not obnoxious voice cooing with excitement as your pleasure her in one of ze best ways posseeble?"

Scout's face turned as red as his shirt, and he angrily gritted his teeth. He quickly spoke to hide the sound of his accelerating heart rate. "Gah... fine, fine! I'll do it. But if you tell ANYONE, consider yourself a DEAD man. Got dat, fancypants?"

A grin formed over Spy's luscious lips. "I'll keep zat in mind. Now, you may think pleasuring a man is a night and day difference to pleasuring a woman." Scout nodded, "Yeah, it-" "It isn't. One must simply do what they feel is right, and what they think their lover would enjoy. This also is not just about you, it is also about her. If you know how to suck me correctly, you will know exactly what to tell her should she ever decide to return you the favor. I shall do ze honors for you, to make you feel like less of a homo, oui?" Spy patted Scout's head and unzipped his pale red slacks, pulling out his already rock-hard cock.

Scout moved his head back with disgust, then thought to himself that Spy was bigger than he thought he would be. Bigger? When did Scout ever think about Spy with any less clothes on than he always does? He shook his head again, and took a deep breath. (Alright, I got dis. For Miss Pauling... right?) He reached forward slowly, and the member before him twitched slightly, as though it was eager to play with a new friend. As his palm made contact with most of the shaft, he leaned his head forward, closer and closer until his lips touched just the tip... just the tip.

Spy looked on contently at the determined if not gullible scout, placing his hand on the top of his hat to guide him in any way he pleased. "Yes, zat's it, go on."

Scout nervously gulped, as he thrust his head forward to take in as much as he could.

Spy then pulled out a thin metal rod and pointed it on Scout's forehead. "Zat is not how you pleasure your lover! You must be gentle at first; get ze feel for what zey might like, appreciate every response you get for your labor."

The last thing Scout wanted was to be smacked. Well, that and to be sucking the dick of the guy he hated, but it was too late for that...

So he backed up and tried again. This time gently sucking on the tip. Then, he maneuvered around the shaft, dragging his tongue over every reachable surface, staying attentive if he got any reactions. Then, he realized it was god damn Spy, he probably wouldn't moan for shit, so he just gave up in that area. He continued his thorough licking for a while, then held his lips around the head again. This time, he very carefully sucked on it, slowly taking Spy's throbbing cock deeper and deeper into his mouth. Suddenly, he felt the hand on his head squeeze, and quiet oohs emanating from the other male. This sent a jolt through Scout's body, and he found his free hand massaging his own crotch. (No fuckin' way! Nope, na ah, not dealin' wit dis. Gettin' this ova with.) Although he would have liked to speedily finish, he knew he could not or Spy would interrupt again and probably ruin the progress Scout made in finishing him off. So he only tightened his lips around the shaft and continued taking it deeper. Once he hit his limit, he bobbed his head back and forth, slowly at first. As soon as he picked up the pace, the grip on his head got tighter.

"Ahh... Zat is not how you..." the flustered Frenchie started, but was too entwined with the pleasure of his blow job to follow up. He dropped his beating stick and held Scout's head with both hands, pulling him closer and almost making him gag. He bucked his hips into the face of Scout, who was getting impatient and nervous, but retained his determination to complete his "lesson." "A-Aaahhh...!" Spy cried out as he blew his load all up in Scout's mouth.

Scout tried to escape but Spy held him there until his dick was completely finished squirting out seed. As soon as he let go Scout fumbled backwards, coughing and spitting up jizz. While he was doing so, Spy easily caught his breath using breathing techniques he'd learned at... spy school... And fixed his slacks up again.

Scout wiped his mouth on the bandages on his wrist. "The hell man Spy come on!"

"Ah, but did you not learn your lesson then?" Spy said back smooth as fuck.

Scout searched his mind but could find no answer. "No, I don't even feel like that was for me! What was I supposed to get out of that?"

Spy chuckled and approached the scout, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Absolutely... nothing."

Scout felt a quick, acute pain in the back of his head, but his vision faded before he could react.

"Ah young love... if only it was always zis easy," Spy mumbled to himself before injecting something into Scout's neck, probably made by the Medic.

When he woke up, he found himself in a desk with a bright light shining on him, the Spy standing before him.


End file.
